The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

   Well Monday started this week off as a strength training day with the trainer and gearing up for double races on Saturday. Tuesday was social run of 3 miles and talking all things marathon with my run coach. We started off at a 11:00 pace which is quick for me and him telling me to imagine keeping this pace for 26.2. Thanks Nate for bringing reality home for me (not)!  Then we parted each settling in to our own pace. I finished my 3 miles with a 11:19 pace! Take that Nate! 
     Wednesday brought my 7 miler up and instead of getting out early & knocking it out I lazed about till time for strength training with Matt. Then had to come home and do my 7 miles in 150% humidity & 90 degrees. Most miserable 7 miles ever! My left interior calf ached my right hip flexor was killing me on the hills and of course I chose a hilly route. My pace was in the 13's and the splits were terrible. The effort I was feeling should have put my pace in the 10's! I finished barely, cooled down, stretched, rolled, iced, rolled, iced and wore compression sleeves to bed. 
     In the morning on Thursday I had 4 on the schedule I attempted it made a block and called it due to horrible left calf pain. Put on compression socks and went to work with a feeling of doom swelling in regards to the double races coming up on Saturday. Thursday became an unplanned rest day. Friday I cycled for 10 miles to actively rest my legs, foam rolled, took ibuprofen, wore compression sleeves to bed and prayed for healthy legs in the morning.
     Saturday morning I woke early drank coffee, took care of bathroom business, dressed and made my way to the start line. I didn't fuel before the race because the rising feeling of doom about my leg and hateful hussy voice was in full swing! I also chose not to fuel due to listening to a podcast that said to practice running on empty to mimic the last stages of a marathon and when you are training for something you have never done before you will try anything. Oh you mean if I stand on one foot wear a tutu, hold my breath, hum The Battle Hymn of the Republic and do squats I will finish my marathon! Of course I will do it! js
     At 7:30 am the gun went off for the 5K my leg was achy but loosened up after the first mile. Then I just felt good. My pace was faster than I typically run so I eased up, but that didn't groove well so I picked it up and went with feels good. I took a page from Trena and started picking people off.  Me the short fat girl who used to smoke is picking people off & singing to the music in my ear and shaking the cops hands along the route. I finished my 3rd official 5K in 34:49 my last 5K in January was 39:48. That is a 5 minute PR!
    So the Quarter Marathon (6.55 miles) is due to start at 8:30 am which means I have about 25 minutes to kill. I was worried the wait would cause my left calf to tighten up and start hurting. Hateful hussy is at it again. So I do some active stretching and cheer on the remaining run/walkers coming in. I remember last October when I did my first 5K and it took me over 45 minutes to finish. So I cheered loudest for those it took the longest and it shut up the hussy.
     The gun bangs and we are off. The leg feels decent and I found a cruising pace. Mile 1-2 was about long gradual hills, mile 3-5 was downhill, flatlands and concrete of which I am not a fan. Mile 5-6:55 was a long hill, corner, steep brutal uphill, corner and finish. Sprint to finish, come on kick it out, push, push more, damn I just got passed by a 4 yr old right at the line. Damn it! I never wanted to trip a kid and her mother more in my whole life as I did right then. I didn't but man did I want to, I know it is hateful but just being truthful. Earlier in the race I had passed the duo and thought it was cute.  I hope she grows up, qualifies for Boston & wins Boston then I won't feel so bad! I finished in 1:18:34 which is 11:96 pace. Seeing as how I have never done a quarter marathon it is a PR. Yay! A sub 12:00 pace is a huge improvement for me. 
     So what's the point of this obnoxiously detailed post about my week? Some runs are just good, some are bad, and some are just ugly. The good push you forward. The bad pisses you off and question your ability. The ugly make you question your sanity and teeter on the edge of quit. So you can quit and wonder what if or you can dig deep go out on faith, push yourself to your limit & surpass your own expectations.
     Challenge yourself, push your limits and live fearlessly because we only get one life! 

Be Epic
Michelle

30 Days of Fearless

      So I'm in a closed online run group called the Inner Circle of Sole The leader of this band of female warriors is Brook Keder and she challenged us last week to 30 days of living fearlessly in addition to our OMG I'm scared witless physical goals we are chasing.

     One fearless act I chose to engage in was to have a tough conversation with the manager of the ICU I work in about what was working and/or not working. The 2nd was having a conversation with the clinical educator about all the new hires on orientation about to come off & the lack of experience on the unit. The 3rd was calling a doctor on his rude demeanor when receiving information on a patient from a nurse.  Although the conversations were a little tough they were by no means hard or requiring lots of courage.

     So this is my next act of fearless. Creating a blog and sharing my thoughts with who ever wants to read it. This to me requires more courage. Sharing my thoughts is scary and makes me feel vulnerable. I don't like feeling vulnerable but it takes strength to stand in it and share. So here it is.

     Running on the Edge is my blog. It will be about my journey to rebuilding life after the devastating loss of my husband, making better healthier choices, choosing to live and not sit on the sidelines. Some days it may be a rant, or a good cry, a great run, a terrible run or just holding onto sanity when I want to slide off the edge into the abyss of grief.   So read it or not, cheer or jeer, laugh or cry but for better or worse it is time to live and not just go through the motions! 

     We only get one life so live it with out regrets and BE EPIC!