So my marathon training plan for Twin Cities calls for a 5K race to measure my progress. I signed up for a small local race on Active but when I didn't get any communication from the race officials I emailed to see about packet pickup & event information. Oh sorry that was canceled months ago. I asked how that was since I just signed up a week ago, no comment. That is a lost $50, normally I wouldn't mind since it's a charity but this bothered me since it was canceled months ago but up until a week before the race you could still register for the canceled race. So I had to hurry and find another race. Luckily I knew about The Q 5K as I ran it last year.
This race is every year put on by Fleet Feet in the downtown area of Tulsa. They call it the Q because you can do the 5K, Quarter Marathor or the Double which is the 5K then the Quarter. I did the Double last year and it was fun. This year I just did the 5K since we were measuring for my 5K time improvement. Last year my 5K time was 34:49.
I was nervous about this race all week. In January at the Commitment Day 5K I went sub 30 only to find out the course was short, so it doesn't count as sub 30. Can I do a sub 30 on a certified course. Also because it was a gauge as to how effective my training was and a predictor of how I might perform for the upcoming marathon. Nate & Matt the trainers were taking bets on guessing my time which was not helping my nerves at all. The night before I could only think what if I'm slower than my last 5K, or what if I don't meet the times they are guessing or worse what if I don't meet my own standard.
Race day dawns nice and early with coffee, protein shake, dog out, bathroom, dog in and then the dressing, changing shirts 3 times, gathering race gear and out the door. I get there in plenty of time to use port-a-potty, do some warm up drills and talk to some fellow life time run friends.
Behind the starting line I visit with friends, turn on my Garmin so it can locate GPS, my HR is elevated at a 100 just due to nervous energy. The countdown begins, the gun fires then the slow motion delay for the crowd to start moving.
Now my watch screens have been changed to accommodate my training plans. The automatic mile marker defaults have been turned off so it would show intervals better. So as I'm running all I can see it elapsed time & heart rate. Neither of which tells me where I am at on the race course. The race course has no mile markers. So when I get to the water stop I know I'm at the halfway mark. Yay!
My heart rate is in the 160's, I'm sweating a lot, I'm breathing hard. I have no idea of my pace and now idk how much further to go. So do I pick up the pace yet or is it to soon? Some fleet feet runners are behind me and one must be a triainer because he is telling the girl runner that we have .8 left to go. Woohoo
At this point we take a right turn uphill straight into a strong wind. It feels like a wind tunnel with it gusting between the high rise buildings. Really Fleet Feet this is the straightaway to the finish. I top the hill and there is the finish line about .4 miles away. I start picking up the pace and look for someone to pick off.
I love the run right before the finish. I want to run hard, pass as many people as possible and I want to finish strong. I pass a few ladies, then I pick off a guy. Now I'm about .25 away and it is sprint time. I'm mean that's a 400! It is go time! I pass 2 ladies and a man right before the finish! Gary from Lifetime is taking pics from the sidewalk I give a nod because that's all I can manage as I'm finishing hard! My heart rate is in the 180's I'm pretty sure my heart is going to bust and that's ok as long as I cross the finish mat first!
Finish line! Gun Time 29:57 Chip Time 29:48 PR from this same race last year 5:01! Sub 30 on a certified course YES
I would like to tell you I was ecstatically happy with this race but you know us type A personalities. I was very happy with my time! The only niggling thought was my heart rate being so high. I kept thinking that's a lot of exertion (heart rate) to be just under 30. I guess I wanted it be more aerobic and less anaerobic. That being said if my HR was lower I would have just run faster making the heart rate higher! It is a viscous circle. So I'm taking my PR and PB and laughing all the way home and holding it close to my heart!
After I finished I did circle back and cheer the runners across the finish line. If I'm not running I do like cheering and encouraging them in. Especially the ones at the back, that can't run continuously, that are carrying a lot of extra pounds. They did the same 3 miles I did at the same exertion for a longer time. I know because I remember being at the back of the pack.
One thing I did notice is some people that can don't finish hard. They stop or slow down right before the timing mats and walk across. Why? Why would you do that? You are not finished. Keep going! I don't get that! Oh well it's their time recorded for all of eternity.
Live Epic
Michelle
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Wednesday, November 4, 2015
Friday, October 16, 2015
Oversized & Undertrained
On Wednesday June 10th, I left Tulsa headed across country to Colorado! It didn't take long to cross the state line from Oklahoma to Kansas. It took forever to cross Kansas into Colorado! That first night I shared a hotel room with Ms. Brenda Alberts in Broomfield, CO. The next morning we did a 6 mile ride around the shopping center afterwards I did some speed work 8 X 200's in the hotel parking lot. From there I left to meet Ms. Brook Kreder in Morrison.
First thing she wants to do is meet at a lake and get in the water in the wetsuits. We meet, I zip up my suit and she promptly tells me it is too big. As I watch her struggle into her suit with the help of Ms. Christy Shaw, I have an inkling that she is right. We get in the water and I realize how right she is. I struggle in the water and now I'm getting nervous about the event. Swimming in a lake where there is no nice black line on the bottom, the water is clear as mud. It is disorienting. Eek! Help! WTH was I thinking!
Brook tells me I will be okay. I won't drown during the event. Ok, ok it's going to be great. Haha. Get back to her house, unload, eat a snack and go to town for groceries and a pedicure/foot massage. Over dinner we talk about, training, transitions, and all things triathlons. I try on her husbands suit and it is too big too which is confirmed when I tried it in the water the next morning. Water poured in through the neck and settled in the legs above my knee and stayed there. Not good! Went for a run around the neighborhood at 6400 feet elevation. Thankfully the hills were painful but the altitude did not seem to affect me.
On Friday we go to packet pick-up, bike check-in, pre-race meeting and the expo. There is talk that the swim maybe canceled because of bacteria in the reservoir. Oh how terrible, no swim, please, Lord let the bacteria live! Back at the house we pack our Go bags, lay it all out on a transition towel and practice. We pack the nutrition bag for our bike. We clean and fill water bottles for the bikes and put them in the refrigerator for race day. We lay out our race clothes. Eat dinner and go to bed kinda early. It will be a early wake up with a hour drive to Boulder.
By 0430 we are heading to Boulder, about 20 minutes away from the Reservoir we realize we didn't get the water bottles. Crap! At a convenience store we grab water bottles that will fit in our cages. Meanwhile Brook is calling a friend to the rescue! The incomparable Andrew Klien to the rescue with lots of water bottles, a friendly smile, hug, good wishes and all encouraging.! 2 miles on the highway from the turnoff to the county road to the turnoff to the other county road to the reservoir traffic is backed up. We finally inch our way to the road going into the reservoir and people are getting out of cars and mounting their bikes to make it to transition. We make to transition in plenty of time without leaving the vehicle and running cross country! Gesh anxious much. Lol.
Brook, Brenda, Chris, and I set up everything in the transition area and move out when transition area is closed. We wander to the beach and take in the sights, atmosphere, the crowds, the cool mountain air and the undercurrent of excitement. We wade into the water to adjust to the cool water. I'm going without a wetsuit. I'm going with the neoprene shorts for buoyancy and luckily the water isn't too cold or infested with bacteria.
We watch all the 70.3 waves take off in a rolling wave start. Men youngest to oldest, then women youngest to oldest. Go Brook Go! When it comes to the sprint distance someone decided all the women should go as a group first then all the men as a group. WTH it was chaos. Some man swam over the top of me. After that my head came out of the water and it was just survival mode to get through the swim! I felt people kicking me and I felt my feet landing on people's hands and other people's hands landing on my feet. I made it. I swam the 750 meters without grabbing a kayak. It wasn't pretty but I finished the swim portion. Then it was a run up a hill on a wet sandy beach onto concrete sidewalk and then onto asphalt. All the while barefoot and trying to get wet neoprene shorts off without taking off my tri clothes.
Into T1, I grab my bike helmet, put it on, gloves, dry feet and shove them in bike shoes without socks because that is just too much. Slather sunscreen on and start pushing the bike to the mount line. On the bike and head out for 17 miles of hills, downhills, and hot as hades flats. My nutrition bar is a melted mess but I shovel it in and swig water. I pass people going uphill, I pass people going downhill but then they find me on the flats. Unless they are on a tri bike because they pass you and you never see them again! A short heavy man and I take turns passing each other. It is really getting annoying! He looks more like he should be watching TV, drinking beer & yelling obscenities at the boob tube rather than in my way on a bike course. (I know I'm terrible) I've decided if it kills me when I get off this **** bike, I am passing him on the run at that will be all of him. We pass each other a couple of more times and then we hit the longest, flattest, hottest stretch of hellish highway into T2.
At T2, I dismount at the line, oh crap I have no legs. How am I supposed to run on no legs! I trade my helmet for a visor, bike cleats for running shoes, spray more sunscreen, still no socks, and grab a drink of water. It is HOT! Like 90+ degrees at 5500 feet. I'm pretty sure we are on the surface of the sun!
Out of T2 and onto the run. Woohoo I finally get to run. Running is easy! Except when you are running along the dirt levee of the reservoir with no legs, in 90+ degree temps, on the surface of the sun! The course is an out and back for the Sprint distance. The 70.3's have to do 2 loops. 90% of the runners are run/walking. It is a hot miserable mess. I do pass the short bike man and do not see him again until I watch him finish after me!
I was so happy to sprint to that finish! As I am coming down the finish shoot, I hear and see Andy, Christy and Chris cheering me on! Official times 2:25:19 Swim 25:11 T1 5:33, Bike 1:13:42 T2 2:46, Run 38:07. So what did I learn, I need a lot of work on the swim and need more saddle time on the bike. Now why did I think I needed to do a 70.3 in November? I am screwed! Eek!
Chris finished way ahead of me because she is a Rock Star! Not only did she win her age group the next person after her was 14 minutes behind her!!! After getting under the shade tree and some fluids we went to the bike area to watch for Brook and Brenda to come in off the Bike. Shortly here comes Brook looking fresh and ready to go! We cheer her on to the Run.
The rest of the day was spent on the run course cheering on participants. This was so much fun! I am hot, sunburnt, hungry, tired and stinky but having a blast cheering on Brook, Brenda and every person on that run course! We cheer Brook into the finish! As we are getting Brook fluids and shade here comes Brenda. We completely missed her finishing. Sorry Brenda!
After the event, we make our way to a mexican restuarant for dinner, stinky, sweaty etc. There may have been a cocktail drank, I'm not positive though. Brook is hobbling, something with her hip. Bedtime comes fairly early after the fun day. Morning comes and everybody is packing up, saying goodbye and heading back home.
With a 12 hour car trip back home, there is lots of time to think about the event. What needs work. What needs tweaked. What the Hell am I going to do about that 70.3?
Live Epic,
Michelle
First thing she wants to do is meet at a lake and get in the water in the wetsuits. We meet, I zip up my suit and she promptly tells me it is too big. As I watch her struggle into her suit with the help of Ms. Christy Shaw, I have an inkling that she is right. We get in the water and I realize how right she is. I struggle in the water and now I'm getting nervous about the event. Swimming in a lake where there is no nice black line on the bottom, the water is clear as mud. It is disorienting. Eek! Help! WTH was I thinking!
Brook tells me I will be okay. I won't drown during the event. Ok, ok it's going to be great. Haha. Get back to her house, unload, eat a snack and go to town for groceries and a pedicure/foot massage. Over dinner we talk about, training, transitions, and all things triathlons. I try on her husbands suit and it is too big too which is confirmed when I tried it in the water the next morning. Water poured in through the neck and settled in the legs above my knee and stayed there. Not good! Went for a run around the neighborhood at 6400 feet elevation. Thankfully the hills were painful but the altitude did not seem to affect me.
On Friday we go to packet pick-up, bike check-in, pre-race meeting and the expo. There is talk that the swim maybe canceled because of bacteria in the reservoir. Oh how terrible, no swim, please, Lord let the bacteria live! Back at the house we pack our Go bags, lay it all out on a transition towel and practice. We pack the nutrition bag for our bike. We clean and fill water bottles for the bikes and put them in the refrigerator for race day. We lay out our race clothes. Eat dinner and go to bed kinda early. It will be a early wake up with a hour drive to Boulder.
By 0430 we are heading to Boulder, about 20 minutes away from the Reservoir we realize we didn't get the water bottles. Crap! At a convenience store we grab water bottles that will fit in our cages. Meanwhile Brook is calling a friend to the rescue! The incomparable Andrew Klien to the rescue with lots of water bottles, a friendly smile, hug, good wishes and all encouraging.! 2 miles on the highway from the turnoff to the county road to the turnoff to the other county road to the reservoir traffic is backed up. We finally inch our way to the road going into the reservoir and people are getting out of cars and mounting their bikes to make it to transition. We make to transition in plenty of time without leaving the vehicle and running cross country! Gesh anxious much. Lol.
Brook, Brenda, Chris, and I set up everything in the transition area and move out when transition area is closed. We wander to the beach and take in the sights, atmosphere, the crowds, the cool mountain air and the undercurrent of excitement. We wade into the water to adjust to the cool water. I'm going without a wetsuit. I'm going with the neoprene shorts for buoyancy and luckily the water isn't too cold or infested with bacteria.
We watch all the 70.3 waves take off in a rolling wave start. Men youngest to oldest, then women youngest to oldest. Go Brook Go! When it comes to the sprint distance someone decided all the women should go as a group first then all the men as a group. WTH it was chaos. Some man swam over the top of me. After that my head came out of the water and it was just survival mode to get through the swim! I felt people kicking me and I felt my feet landing on people's hands and other people's hands landing on my feet. I made it. I swam the 750 meters without grabbing a kayak. It wasn't pretty but I finished the swim portion. Then it was a run up a hill on a wet sandy beach onto concrete sidewalk and then onto asphalt. All the while barefoot and trying to get wet neoprene shorts off without taking off my tri clothes.
Into T1, I grab my bike helmet, put it on, gloves, dry feet and shove them in bike shoes without socks because that is just too much. Slather sunscreen on and start pushing the bike to the mount line. On the bike and head out for 17 miles of hills, downhills, and hot as hades flats. My nutrition bar is a melted mess but I shovel it in and swig water. I pass people going uphill, I pass people going downhill but then they find me on the flats. Unless they are on a tri bike because they pass you and you never see them again! A short heavy man and I take turns passing each other. It is really getting annoying! He looks more like he should be watching TV, drinking beer & yelling obscenities at the boob tube rather than in my way on a bike course. (I know I'm terrible) I've decided if it kills me when I get off this **** bike, I am passing him on the run at that will be all of him. We pass each other a couple of more times and then we hit the longest, flattest, hottest stretch of hellish highway into T2.
At T2, I dismount at the line, oh crap I have no legs. How am I supposed to run on no legs! I trade my helmet for a visor, bike cleats for running shoes, spray more sunscreen, still no socks, and grab a drink of water. It is HOT! Like 90+ degrees at 5500 feet. I'm pretty sure we are on the surface of the sun!
Out of T2 and onto the run. Woohoo I finally get to run. Running is easy! Except when you are running along the dirt levee of the reservoir with no legs, in 90+ degree temps, on the surface of the sun! The course is an out and back for the Sprint distance. The 70.3's have to do 2 loops. 90% of the runners are run/walking. It is a hot miserable mess. I do pass the short bike man and do not see him again until I watch him finish after me!
I was so happy to sprint to that finish! As I am coming down the finish shoot, I hear and see Andy, Christy and Chris cheering me on! Official times 2:25:19 Swim 25:11 T1 5:33, Bike 1:13:42 T2 2:46, Run 38:07. So what did I learn, I need a lot of work on the swim and need more saddle time on the bike. Now why did I think I needed to do a 70.3 in November? I am screwed! Eek!
Chris finished way ahead of me because she is a Rock Star! Not only did she win her age group the next person after her was 14 minutes behind her!!! After getting under the shade tree and some fluids we went to the bike area to watch for Brook and Brenda to come in off the Bike. Shortly here comes Brook looking fresh and ready to go! We cheer her on to the Run.
The rest of the day was spent on the run course cheering on participants. This was so much fun! I am hot, sunburnt, hungry, tired and stinky but having a blast cheering on Brook, Brenda and every person on that run course! We cheer Brook into the finish! As we are getting Brook fluids and shade here comes Brenda. We completely missed her finishing. Sorry Brenda!
After the event, we make our way to a mexican restuarant for dinner, stinky, sweaty etc. There may have been a cocktail drank, I'm not positive though. Brook is hobbling, something with her hip. Bedtime comes fairly early after the fun day. Morning comes and everybody is packing up, saying goodbye and heading back home.
With a 12 hour car trip back home, there is lots of time to think about the event. What needs work. What needs tweaked. What the Hell am I going to do about that 70.3?
Live Epic,
Michelle
Friday, July 3, 2015
8 Years
Today is the anniversary of my husband's death. Anniversary, is that the right word? Anniversaries are usually meant to measure the passage of time for happy events. I don't know what the right word is, or if there is a right word. I do know that today marks 8 years since he died.
Grief is strange, sometimes you will be busy in your life and someone will mention or ask a question in reference to your late loved one and it is okay, you can handle it. Other times like today, it overwhelms you, surrounds you and drains you. My eyes are leaky, my emotions are raw, I feel like I'm on edge and it just wouldn't take much to tip the balance. I want to walk away go curl up with a blanket in solitude and just be still. I also want to strike out, throw a good fit and leave the mayhem wherever it lands.
Unfortunately I can't do any of those things because I'm at work taking care of patients and trying to keep my tears in. Down the hall a patient died and I can hear the family crying. It reminds me of telling the kids, my parents, his parents, my siblings and his sibling that he is gone. Of trying to hold it together as they fell apart. Trying to comfort them as I was dying inside.
I have no words for the family down the hall, no words can help soothe the suffering. I can't tell them it will get better with time because it won't. Right now they are in shock so it isn't real for them. Later the shock and numbness wear off and the pain comes with daily reminders that he is no longer there.
I would like to tell them that at 8 years out it gets better but it doesn't not really. Oh it is not a hour to hour struggle just to maintain and function, like it is the first year or so. It is a struggle to build a life without him or to want to build a new life. You have to build a new life because that one is dead it is gone. No matter how much you want your life back, it is gone.
You don't just mourn the life that is gone. You mourn everything that life encompassed. 8 years of not hearing his voice or his laugh. 8 years of not feeling his touch or touching him. 8 years of not being annoyed by his socks on the floor. 8 years of having to mow the damn grass and take out trash. 8 years of not smelling his scent on the pillows and on my skin. 8 years of reaching for him in the night and clutching a pillow with a death grip. 8 years of the kids having graduations, marriages and babies born without him. 8 years of not being able to share with him my new goals, challenges, failures and successes. 8 years of without him.
You have to learn to accept a new reality for your life. Adapt to a life you didn't choose and build a life with a new perception or focus. Acclimate to the changes and evolution this loss causes you to have. Realize that although you are now privy to some truths, that your friends and family who haven't lost someone that close, just do not understand.
Rediscover what you like and don't like. Stop comparing everyone to him because it just isn't fair to anyone and especially not for you. Cease the would have, could haves, if onlys and etc. Find what makes you happy. What gives you joy. What gives you peace. Be your own safe place to fall.
I guess you can call it an Anniversary because it is the anniversary of you beginning to redefine who, what, and where you want to go in this new solo shadowed life. Solo because it is just you now but shadowed because he is always with you in your mind, memories and heart.
I love you Michael! I love who we were together. I love the life we created. So until we meet again I am going to try and love this life I am building. Love is Eternal.
Live Epic
Michelle
Grief is strange, sometimes you will be busy in your life and someone will mention or ask a question in reference to your late loved one and it is okay, you can handle it. Other times like today, it overwhelms you, surrounds you and drains you. My eyes are leaky, my emotions are raw, I feel like I'm on edge and it just wouldn't take much to tip the balance. I want to walk away go curl up with a blanket in solitude and just be still. I also want to strike out, throw a good fit and leave the mayhem wherever it lands.
Unfortunately I can't do any of those things because I'm at work taking care of patients and trying to keep my tears in. Down the hall a patient died and I can hear the family crying. It reminds me of telling the kids, my parents, his parents, my siblings and his sibling that he is gone. Of trying to hold it together as they fell apart. Trying to comfort them as I was dying inside.
I have no words for the family down the hall, no words can help soothe the suffering. I can't tell them it will get better with time because it won't. Right now they are in shock so it isn't real for them. Later the shock and numbness wear off and the pain comes with daily reminders that he is no longer there.
I would like to tell them that at 8 years out it gets better but it doesn't not really. Oh it is not a hour to hour struggle just to maintain and function, like it is the first year or so. It is a struggle to build a life without him or to want to build a new life. You have to build a new life because that one is dead it is gone. No matter how much you want your life back, it is gone.
You don't just mourn the life that is gone. You mourn everything that life encompassed. 8 years of not hearing his voice or his laugh. 8 years of not feeling his touch or touching him. 8 years of not being annoyed by his socks on the floor. 8 years of having to mow the damn grass and take out trash. 8 years of not smelling his scent on the pillows and on my skin. 8 years of reaching for him in the night and clutching a pillow with a death grip. 8 years of the kids having graduations, marriages and babies born without him. 8 years of not being able to share with him my new goals, challenges, failures and successes. 8 years of without him.
You have to learn to accept a new reality for your life. Adapt to a life you didn't choose and build a life with a new perception or focus. Acclimate to the changes and evolution this loss causes you to have. Realize that although you are now privy to some truths, that your friends and family who haven't lost someone that close, just do not understand.
Rediscover what you like and don't like. Stop comparing everyone to him because it just isn't fair to anyone and especially not for you. Cease the would have, could haves, if onlys and etc. Find what makes you happy. What gives you joy. What gives you peace. Be your own safe place to fall.
I guess you can call it an Anniversary because it is the anniversary of you beginning to redefine who, what, and where you want to go in this new solo shadowed life. Solo because it is just you now but shadowed because he is always with you in your mind, memories and heart.
I love you Michael! I love who we were together. I love the life we created. So until we meet again I am going to try and love this life I am building. Love is Eternal.
Live Epic
Michelle
Monday, June 29, 2015
Full Moon 5K 6/6/15
After working 20 hours I got home and slept about 3-4 hours. After waking I moved to the living room to my chair and didn't move again unless it was for food, liquids, or the bathroom. To say the least my nutrition, hydration and rest was not even close to good. Originally I had planned on running the Full Moon 5K but had to work so I didn't register for it. After changing days with a coworker I was at least off for the race but I was not rested for it. At 6pm I finally decided to run it as practice and registered for the race.
The race didn't start until 8:30 pm so I went to the grocery store and stock up on some good food. I unloaded the groceries. Changed into some running gear grabbed a water and drove over to the race.
I got to the race and ran into a couple of coworkers, Jessica and Amy. We chatted for a few minutes. Jessica and her daughter were doing the 1 mile fun run so I stayed and cheered them on. When that was over I moved over to a side area to do a warmup, and some drills to open up the hip flexors and loosen the calves. As I finished I seen Nate and Cecilia.
Nate and I discussed my work night aka race readiness and then moved onto goals for the race. The most I was ready to commit to was a respectable time because I had no illusions/delusions of a PR. Nate if I remember was going for 17 or sub 17 or some such crazy number. Nate and Cecilia moved on to meet with some of his other athletes.
I went to pick a good spot in the race lineup towards the back and on the outside edge. Listened to the usual announcements and countdown to the start. Gun goes off and nobody moves. Maybe I went to far to the back. Finally people start moving forward at a slow shuffle. At last we move across the start line. I start running and try to find an open lane away from walkers, dogs, baby strollers etc.
It was hot and humid about 90 degrees and no breeze. The course had 3 turnarounds which is terrible for a 5K course. Mile 1 had the first turnaround at about .2 miles in, I felt ok but kind of heavy and sluggish and the heat was awful. Mile 1 - 10:28.
Mile 2 I seen Nate so I cheered him on. Mile 2 had the token water stop normally I don't stop for a 5K but I actually stopped and walked through so I could get a good drink and of course it had turn #2. Mile 2 - 11:32.
Mile 3 was up and over the river with turn #3 after the turn I met Jessica & Amy. Mile 3 - 11:23. The course was a little long at .21 but it was downhill to the finish. I picked up the pace, seen Nate & Cecilia cheering which helped! Picked up the pace again so I could pass 2 guys before the finish line. Mile .21 - 8:41!
Official time was 35:10 which is not a PR, or a PB or even close to my last PR. That being said I went out on 3 hours sleep, 24 hours of poor nutrition and poor hydration and put down a decent 5K time in 90 degree heat. A year ago I was still run/walking so I will take it and smile about how far I have come.
Oh and Nate finished in FIRST PLACE OVERALL!!!
Live Epic
Michelle
The race didn't start until 8:30 pm so I went to the grocery store and stock up on some good food. I unloaded the groceries. Changed into some running gear grabbed a water and drove over to the race.
I got to the race and ran into a couple of coworkers, Jessica and Amy. We chatted for a few minutes. Jessica and her daughter were doing the 1 mile fun run so I stayed and cheered them on. When that was over I moved over to a side area to do a warmup, and some drills to open up the hip flexors and loosen the calves. As I finished I seen Nate and Cecilia.
Nate and I discussed my work night aka race readiness and then moved onto goals for the race. The most I was ready to commit to was a respectable time because I had no illusions/delusions of a PR. Nate if I remember was going for 17 or sub 17 or some such crazy number. Nate and Cecilia moved on to meet with some of his other athletes.
I went to pick a good spot in the race lineup towards the back and on the outside edge. Listened to the usual announcements and countdown to the start. Gun goes off and nobody moves. Maybe I went to far to the back. Finally people start moving forward at a slow shuffle. At last we move across the start line. I start running and try to find an open lane away from walkers, dogs, baby strollers etc.
It was hot and humid about 90 degrees and no breeze. The course had 3 turnarounds which is terrible for a 5K course. Mile 1 had the first turnaround at about .2 miles in, I felt ok but kind of heavy and sluggish and the heat was awful. Mile 1 - 10:28.
Mile 2 I seen Nate so I cheered him on. Mile 2 had the token water stop normally I don't stop for a 5K but I actually stopped and walked through so I could get a good drink and of course it had turn #2. Mile 2 - 11:32.
Mile 3 was up and over the river with turn #3 after the turn I met Jessica & Amy. Mile 3 - 11:23. The course was a little long at .21 but it was downhill to the finish. I picked up the pace, seen Nate & Cecilia cheering which helped! Picked up the pace again so I could pass 2 guys before the finish line. Mile .21 - 8:41!
Official time was 35:10 which is not a PR, or a PB or even close to my last PR. That being said I went out on 3 hours sleep, 24 hours of poor nutrition and poor hydration and put down a decent 5K time in 90 degree heat. A year ago I was still run/walking so I will take it and smile about how far I have come.
Oh and Nate finished in FIRST PLACE OVERALL!!!
Live Epic
Michelle
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Kentucky Sole Time 4/25/15
I registered for the Kentucky Derby Festival as soon as I found out Trena was one of the ambassadors for the race. I knew a lot of Sole Sister would probably be signing up for it also, which would give me an opportunity to meet some of them. At the time I registered, I was still training for my first marathon, so I only registered for the Half because I did not know if I would want to do another full yet. In hindsight turns out it was a good decision but for other reasons.
In Late December when Nate (run coach) & I met to plan goals for 2015, I told him I really wanted to improve my Half time by a lot, like as close to sub 2 as I could get. With that in mind he devised a plan with a lot of long slow running days. 5 days a week of running, 4 days of which my heart rate was not to get above 135. One day a week for a 3 mile run, I could ignore the heart rate. That plan was to build my aerobic and run base. It worked at the end of 8 weeks I could run at a faster pace with a HR of 135 or less.
So in February a new plan was given to me that was the official training plan for the Kentucky Derby a Half. This plan had long slow runs but sped work days and tempo runs. I was so excited. Week one strained my hip flexor, lateral quad and my TFL. No weight bearing exercise. No running, no swimming & no cycling for 2 weeks. Then I was allowed to add swimming & cycling with pool running.
At 4 weeks the hip was feeling better, so I tried an easy run and immediately the Hip blasted me with pain. At 6 weeks the hip felt better so I tried an easy run and although it didn't hurt as I was running it did hurt for days later. This cycle continued every week up to 10 days before the Kentucky Half. Now at this point I had my phone call from Brook, as we were discussing the injury and my frustration, she made me promise to rest it for the full 10 days until my Half.
I flew on the morning of the 24th. I should have arrived in Kentucky at 3 pm but because of 2 delays I did not arrive till after 6 pm. I was hungry, dehydrated and in a hurry to make it to the expo. I met up with my Sisters of Sole Araminta, Magda, & Jackie for packet pickup, they had already got theirs but they graciously waited as I picked up mine, Trena's (who was also having travel hassles) & a friend of Trena's packet. We met up with Haewon and took some Sole pics and headed to the dinner place.
So dinner was at the Troll House Pub under the Bridge, where we met up with Beth, her husband and sister in law. The waiter was from NOLA and was awesome. So the menu didn't offer a lot of good pre-race options for me. I went with pasta as it looked like the lesser of the evils but on race day I decided I should have chosen different. The company was great. It was so fantastic finally meeting these ladies in person after months of just online contact.
We all called it an early night & headed to the hotels at about 8-9ish. I waited up for Trena to make it on as we were roomies. She made it in about 10ish. We chatted as she rolled her hips. Lights out at 10:30 since wake up was 6 am.
Up at 6 am got my coffee fix with some water, a protein bar, banana, bathroom, dress, brush the chicklets, bathroom, & mix up the UCAN to swig down. Walked to the race start which was just 3 blocks away from the hotel with Magda & Haewon. Dropped Trena off with the fast crowd, then Haewon stopped at her corral, Magda & I continued on to our corral.
I wasn't really feeling well for this race. My stomach felt iffy. I felt dry, like I hadn't hydrated enough which was true. I felt sluggish & heavy despite the cool air. At 7:30 the gun went off & a little later the crowd started moving. Just as I passed the starting line, the first raindrops fell and didn't stop until after the race.
The splits played out like this:
1 - 11:53
2 - 12:42
3 - 11:52
4 - 12:33 port-a-potty break (I paused my watch, idk why because now I don't know my time)
5 - 12:22 hug random stranger giving out free hugs, why not I'm not going to PR today.
6 - 11:48
7 - 11:41
8 - 11:43
9 - 12:08 only hill going up the ramp from under the race track & people stop to walk it. Seriously I have seen steeper wheel Chair ramps.
10 - 11:49
11 - 11:33
12 - 14:33 an emergent Potty stop was necessary! Pasta really isn't my friend!
13 - 10:33 time to finish this
.10 - 7:41 finish line!
Official time of 2:41. Which is not bad considering I had poor nutrition, poor hydration, undertrained due to injury and some potty issues. My first Half took 3:12 when I was run walking, my best Half time is 2:27 when I was trained and healthy. So a 2:41 under not the best circumstances is OK. I still grit my teeth to say that, even though I know not everyone can run a Half marathon without training.
Best thing was meeting some Sisters of Sole for some good conversation, laughs, celebratory drinks! Jackie PR'd, Magda PR'd, Haewon BQ'd, Trena ran 2 marathons in one week! I think Beth's husband PR'd and it kicked off a new training cycle for me with new goals of PR's! I may have to have a rematch Kentucky!
Live Epic
Michelle
In Late December when Nate (run coach) & I met to plan goals for 2015, I told him I really wanted to improve my Half time by a lot, like as close to sub 2 as I could get. With that in mind he devised a plan with a lot of long slow running days. 5 days a week of running, 4 days of which my heart rate was not to get above 135. One day a week for a 3 mile run, I could ignore the heart rate. That plan was to build my aerobic and run base. It worked at the end of 8 weeks I could run at a faster pace with a HR of 135 or less.
So in February a new plan was given to me that was the official training plan for the Kentucky Derby a Half. This plan had long slow runs but sped work days and tempo runs. I was so excited. Week one strained my hip flexor, lateral quad and my TFL. No weight bearing exercise. No running, no swimming & no cycling for 2 weeks. Then I was allowed to add swimming & cycling with pool running.
At 4 weeks the hip was feeling better, so I tried an easy run and immediately the Hip blasted me with pain. At 6 weeks the hip felt better so I tried an easy run and although it didn't hurt as I was running it did hurt for days later. This cycle continued every week up to 10 days before the Kentucky Half. Now at this point I had my phone call from Brook, as we were discussing the injury and my frustration, she made me promise to rest it for the full 10 days until my Half.
I flew on the morning of the 24th. I should have arrived in Kentucky at 3 pm but because of 2 delays I did not arrive till after 6 pm. I was hungry, dehydrated and in a hurry to make it to the expo. I met up with my Sisters of Sole Araminta, Magda, & Jackie for packet pickup, they had already got theirs but they graciously waited as I picked up mine, Trena's (who was also having travel hassles) & a friend of Trena's packet. We met up with Haewon and took some Sole pics and headed to the dinner place.
So dinner was at the Troll House Pub under the Bridge, where we met up with Beth, her husband and sister in law. The waiter was from NOLA and was awesome. So the menu didn't offer a lot of good pre-race options for me. I went with pasta as it looked like the lesser of the evils but on race day I decided I should have chosen different. The company was great. It was so fantastic finally meeting these ladies in person after months of just online contact.
We all called it an early night & headed to the hotels at about 8-9ish. I waited up for Trena to make it on as we were roomies. She made it in about 10ish. We chatted as she rolled her hips. Lights out at 10:30 since wake up was 6 am.
Up at 6 am got my coffee fix with some water, a protein bar, banana, bathroom, dress, brush the chicklets, bathroom, & mix up the UCAN to swig down. Walked to the race start which was just 3 blocks away from the hotel with Magda & Haewon. Dropped Trena off with the fast crowd, then Haewon stopped at her corral, Magda & I continued on to our corral.
I wasn't really feeling well for this race. My stomach felt iffy. I felt dry, like I hadn't hydrated enough which was true. I felt sluggish & heavy despite the cool air. At 7:30 the gun went off & a little later the crowd started moving. Just as I passed the starting line, the first raindrops fell and didn't stop until after the race.
The splits played out like this:
1 - 11:53
2 - 12:42
3 - 11:52
4 - 12:33 port-a-potty break (I paused my watch, idk why because now I don't know my time)
5 - 12:22 hug random stranger giving out free hugs, why not I'm not going to PR today.
6 - 11:48
7 - 11:41
8 - 11:43
9 - 12:08 only hill going up the ramp from under the race track & people stop to walk it. Seriously I have seen steeper wheel Chair ramps.
10 - 11:49
11 - 11:33
12 - 14:33 an emergent Potty stop was necessary! Pasta really isn't my friend!
13 - 10:33 time to finish this
.10 - 7:41 finish line!
Official time of 2:41. Which is not bad considering I had poor nutrition, poor hydration, undertrained due to injury and some potty issues. My first Half took 3:12 when I was run walking, my best Half time is 2:27 when I was trained and healthy. So a 2:41 under not the best circumstances is OK. I still grit my teeth to say that, even though I know not everyone can run a Half marathon without training.
Best thing was meeting some Sisters of Sole for some good conversation, laughs, celebratory drinks! Jackie PR'd, Magda PR'd, Haewon BQ'd, Trena ran 2 marathons in one week! I think Beth's husband PR'd and it kicked off a new training cycle for me with new goals of PR's! I may have to have a rematch Kentucky!
Live Epic
Michelle
Monday, June 8, 2015
Run to the Well Kibo 5K - 3/28/15
I signed up for this race mainly because Gary a member of Life Time Run was apart of it with his Church group. The Kibo group has races as fundraisers to drill fresh water wells in Africa and other undeveloped countries. I thought it would be a good test of how my hip was healing and if I had managed to maintain my fitness.
I got up kind of late but grabbed some coffee a lite breakfast, let the dog out, bathroom, dressed, dog in, bathroom again & out the door to the car. I was running late, like I mean was I going to make it before the gun went off! I'm speeding, passing people and cussing myself all the way there. I find a parking space, grab the bib and pin it on as I'm speed walking across to the start line. I get to the start with 2 minutes to spare! Hah!
The gun goes off and away we go. It is a small race less than 200 people, I think that is counting dogs & baby strollers! I find a pace that feels comfortably hard. My hip feels ok, no pain! Yay!
The first mile I'm breathing okay, nothing hurts but it just feels more difficult than I think it should. I can feel the lack of running over the past few months.
The second mile, I come up on a woman who is a chatty Kathy. No that is not her name but I can't remember it. Normally I don't like to talk when I'm running and especially not in a race. I figure if you are able to talk faster than you are moving then you need to run faster and talk less! Today though I run beside Chatty and let her monologue distract me from how hard the ground is, the effort I'm putting out to maintain this pace and how much I will have to work to get back to where I was before the hip injury.
Now somewhere at the start of mile 3 Chatty moves on pass me to another group to talk to. I concentrate on my breathing, my footfalls, the push off and start doing an inventory of how all the body parts feel. It seems to be getting easier, (I still hate the first 2 miles) my breathing is easy, heart rate is good, hip is pain free. And I feel like it is Go time.
I reach the turn around on the bridge and decide it is all down hill to the finish. I start picking up the pace and start picking off people. As I come off the bridge I pick up the pace again and see Chatty up ahead still talking. I pick it up again and I pass Chatty, I hear her say where did you come from, I tell her come on it is go time, there is the finish. I pick up the pace and sprint across the line. Usually I feel like I am done when I cross the finish line but I was just starting to feel good I felt like I could just keep running. God it felt so good to push hard at the finish.
Well I didn't keep running. I seen Gary at the finish, he gave me a hug and thanked me for coming and we chatted for a few about running and injuries. Good times! Official time was 32:30! Not to bad for breathing easy and not running for more than 8 wks.
The only problem with this whole race is that the Hip started throbbing later that day and continued for weeks. Running this race pushed back my healing another 6 weeks. Bleep, bleep, bleep de bleep bleep!
Live Epic!
Michelle
I got up kind of late but grabbed some coffee a lite breakfast, let the dog out, bathroom, dressed, dog in, bathroom again & out the door to the car. I was running late, like I mean was I going to make it before the gun went off! I'm speeding, passing people and cussing myself all the way there. I find a parking space, grab the bib and pin it on as I'm speed walking across to the start line. I get to the start with 2 minutes to spare! Hah!
The gun goes off and away we go. It is a small race less than 200 people, I think that is counting dogs & baby strollers! I find a pace that feels comfortably hard. My hip feels ok, no pain! Yay!
The first mile I'm breathing okay, nothing hurts but it just feels more difficult than I think it should. I can feel the lack of running over the past few months.
The second mile, I come up on a woman who is a chatty Kathy. No that is not her name but I can't remember it. Normally I don't like to talk when I'm running and especially not in a race. I figure if you are able to talk faster than you are moving then you need to run faster and talk less! Today though I run beside Chatty and let her monologue distract me from how hard the ground is, the effort I'm putting out to maintain this pace and how much I will have to work to get back to where I was before the hip injury.
Now somewhere at the start of mile 3 Chatty moves on pass me to another group to talk to. I concentrate on my breathing, my footfalls, the push off and start doing an inventory of how all the body parts feel. It seems to be getting easier, (I still hate the first 2 miles) my breathing is easy, heart rate is good, hip is pain free. And I feel like it is Go time.
I reach the turn around on the bridge and decide it is all down hill to the finish. I start picking up the pace and start picking off people. As I come off the bridge I pick up the pace again and see Chatty up ahead still talking. I pick it up again and I pass Chatty, I hear her say where did you come from, I tell her come on it is go time, there is the finish. I pick up the pace and sprint across the line. Usually I feel like I am done when I cross the finish line but I was just starting to feel good I felt like I could just keep running. God it felt so good to push hard at the finish.
Well I didn't keep running. I seen Gary at the finish, he gave me a hug and thanked me for coming and we chatted for a few about running and injuries. Good times! Official time was 32:30! Not to bad for breathing easy and not running for more than 8 wks.
The only problem with this whole race is that the Hip started throbbing later that day and continued for weeks. Running this race pushed back my healing another 6 weeks. Bleep, bleep, bleep de bleep bleep!
Live Epic!
Michelle
Sunday, May 3, 2015
Healing???
At the beginning of 2015, Brooke challenged us to do her friends Word of the Year worksheet. I did it and came up with the word Healing. Now I knew this was my word, I knew why it was my word and I knew how hard this word was going to be. So I shied away from it, I never declared it openly and publicly. It was too hard, too painful and too scary.
During my clarity call with Brooke I was complaining about all the injuries that had plagued me this training season. I lamented the passing of attaining the goals I had set for myself. I told Brooke about my WOTY, how I had ran from it and wondered if the reason injuries kept plaguing me was because I hadn't Healed so My Lord was forcing me to be still and not run. She agreed the idea had merit and challenged me to not run for a specified period so the body could heal, to think about declaring my word in the Circle and the reasons for this being my word.
I declared my WOTY in the Circle but I didn't elaborate on why it was my word. I have been procrastinating because I don't want to hear the "I'm sorries", "you poor thing", etc, etc, etc. I'm afraid of it. I'm afraid once I go there into the abyss of grief I may not emerge on the other side. That being said I'm already broken maybe if I lay it all out there, the truth of what happened, the horror, and the heartbreak maybe, just maybe I can Heal.
During my clarity call with Brooke I was complaining about all the injuries that had plagued me this training season. I lamented the passing of attaining the goals I had set for myself. I told Brooke about my WOTY, how I had ran from it and wondered if the reason injuries kept plaguing me was because I hadn't Healed so My Lord was forcing me to be still and not run. She agreed the idea had merit and challenged me to not run for a specified period so the body could heal, to think about declaring my word in the Circle and the reasons for this being my word.
I declared my WOTY in the Circle but I didn't elaborate on why it was my word. I have been procrastinating because I don't want to hear the "I'm sorries", "you poor thing", etc, etc, etc. I'm afraid of it. I'm afraid once I go there into the abyss of grief I may not emerge on the other side. That being said I'm already broken maybe if I lay it all out there, the truth of what happened, the horror, and the heartbreak maybe, just maybe I can Heal.
The story of Us
I met Michael when I was 16 yo, working in a diner as a summer job. The diner was owned by a company that also had a natural gas construction company. Michael was 22 yo, married with a baby girl and worked for the construction company. I had the biggest crush on him. He would later say he thought I was cute but I was a kid, he worked with my dad and he was married.
Fast forward 13 years later, I ran into Michael at the local small town watering hole. I'm single, he is single and we still have the hots for each other. That was 7/7/01 and from that day forward unless we were at work we were together. It was a whirlwind courtship. By September we were engaged and on 12/15/01 we said "I Do"!
The best thing about Michael and I was we didn't need each other for a damn thing. We just liked being around each other. We used to say we had a terminal illness, a terminal case of the hots for each other and we could only get temporary relief of the symptoms by: well now that is just TMI!
We had good times, great times, bad times and all the other times that happen in life. We loved, fought, played and struggled. The kids visited on our weekends. The kids were from his previous marriage but I said I Do to them when I married him. They are my kids too and still are mine. Michael and I sometimes well a lot of time were so in tune with one another that everybody else was on the outside. We didn't ignore our families and friends, we visited but no matter what we were doing even when apart, we were only half there the rest of us was focused on each other. It sounds obsessive/possessive but it wasn't, it was just us.
We were not perfect by no means. We both had our own demons, fears and baggage we brought with us. When you love someone with everything you are, you risk much. When your whole life is based on your loves then you fear anything happening to them. So you have to decide if the the fear of losing them is worse than the fear of living without them. For me the fear of living without Michael in my life was worse. Now Michael had some confidence issues and sometimes his fear of losing me or the kids would get to him. It was the only issue/argument we ever had. Usually it was preceded by something he read, heard or seen such as a car wreck etc.. Theses moments were brief usually resolved with an argument and make up sex. I used to tell him, he just picked these fights so we could make up! Understand these "fights" by no means were violent, volatile yes but violent never.
Michael was beautiful, sexy, smart, hot tempered, passionate, stubborn, opinionated and protective. He was fastidious in maintaining our vehicles, the house, our toys, the guns, hunting equipment and anything else that if malfunctioned could injure me or the kids. He was also deaf in one ear from years of unprotected target practice.
On 7/3/07 Michael and I were spending the evening at home watching movies. We had talked to the kids on the phone about the 4th and them coming to visit that weekend. Our daughter was expecting her first child so naturally we worried about her and the baby's health. Our son earlier that summer had lost his best friend due to a car wreck. We worried about how he was handling it, because at 16 a boy can take a wrong turn. After the phone call we talked about the kids and made plans for the weekend.
Now at this time the dogs started barking, we live at the end of a dead end road, so if you come to our house, you meant to or you were lost. We had been having trouble with a new neighbor recently, so when the dogs barked, Michael got the pistol and went outside to see what was going on. It was just an opossum, so he quickly came back in. Now since the kids were coming and the high likelihood of target practice happening Michael decided to check the weapon for proper functioning.
He unloaded the revolver and placed the bullets on the table. I was sitting across from him as we were still talking and making plans for the weekend. Since Michael was deaf in one ear, he would hold the revolver next to his good ear and work the action on a revolver, to make sure the timing was accurate. If the timing is off when you fire the gun can blow up on your hands/face. Since the kids and I target shot a lot, Michael was fanatical about maintaining the safety of the weapons.
When Michael went to work the action on the revolver the gun went off and killed him instantly! One bullet had hung up in the chamber. I watched as the light that was Michael leave his eyes. In an instant he was gone. One second we were talking, flirting and planning the weekend and the next he is gone. A part of me died that night.
Michael died on 7/3/07, I buried him on the anniversary of our first date on 7/7/07.
By 8/10/07 I was working full time and going to school full time. In 5/5/10 I finished my degree in nursing on 7/7/10 I took my nursing boards and received my RN. I started school to stay busy, so I didn't have to think about all I had lost. When I first started working as a nurse, I worked lots of overtime. In short I ran from the abyss of grief and I haven't stopped running from it yet.
I know Michael is gone. I buried him, cried over him, missed him and still love him. I don't think I have released my anger at him for leaving me here all alone. My guilt at failing to prevent this horrible accident. My fear that people may believe he did it on purpose. My anger at being stuck on this planet without him. The unfairness of it. People take each other for granted all the time & do not appreciate what they have. I didn't, I knew I was blessed and thankful that he was mine. Sometimes I wonder if God took him because I loved Michael so damn much! I didn't need anything as long as he was with me. He was my best friend, husband, lover and confidante.
I'm not sharing this deeply personal story for sympathy or pity. I have not shared this story with anyone other than my family and a few friends. I'm hoping in sharing this my healing can start. I can start to enjoy the journey instead of trying to outrun the pain. #livingisharderthandying
Live Epic!
Michelle
Live Epic!
Michelle
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